Once she made up her mind to actually do it, Iris set about tracking down the skinny white boy. It was a little bit harder than it should have been. She had deleted his number from the phone.
Iris first tried calling the number he'd listed on the annulment petition. For a week all she got was a robotic sounding answering machine that said simply 'Leave a message'. There was no way she was doing that. She didn't want to give him time to think about the bombshell she was about to drop on him.
Next she called the studio and asked for him. She had called him skinny white boy for so long that his actual name felt foreign on her lips. The production assistant had been wary about answering her questions until Iris improvised and said that she was an artist with a finished drawing Mr. Pine had commissioned. That loosened the assistant's tongue. "That must be his wedding gift to his bride," the man gushed. "Where are you? Are you trying to get to the church?"
"The church? Uh, yeah." Iris was thrown by the assistant's revelation. The skinny white boy was getting married. The silence on the other end of the call made Iris realize that she had missed part of the conversation. "Huh? What'd you say?" The assistant slowly repeated the address of the church where the wedding was to take place later that evening. "Thanks for your help," she said.
"No problem. When you speak with Darryl ," the assistant offered cheerfully, "tell him everybody at the studio wishes him the best."
Iris threw a small bag into her trunk and started on the two hour journey to the town her ex-husband had mentioned as home. As she drove, she replayed the conversation she'd just had with the studio assistant. The skinny white boy was getting married that day. That was something she hadn't thought about last week when she made the decision to track him down and speak with him face-to-face.
Halfway there, Iris stopped to fill her gas tank and take the opportunity to program the church's address into the built-in GPS system. Siri informed her that the remaining travel time to her destination would be one hour and eight minutes. She started up the car and pulled onto the highway. Her mind raced as she tried to decide whether the skinny white boy's impending marriage would change her plans.
The miles both flew by and weren't fast enough. Iris took a break from her thoughts every few minutes to glance at the dashboard clock. She had already made up some time. Unless she ran into an unlikely traffic jam, she would arrive at the church a few minutes before the wedding was scheduled to begin.
He probably looked good in his tuxedo and all. The skinny white boy. She wasn't feening for him or nothing, Iris thought. But it was hard to have somebody's dick inside you as much as she had that weekend and not find something attractive about the man it was attached to. Too bad he made it crystal clear that he would never return the favor.
Based on his reaction to Iris, she had no doubt that the woman about to become the second "Mrs. Skinny White Boy' was some tiny little chick named Becky. Or maybe Brittany. Iris was willing to bet money that he hadn't told her a single detail about his first marriage to her. And that was just fine. The conversation they were about to have needed to stay between them. Anyone else would just complicate the situation. She'd thought a long time about what she expected from this conversation with the skinny white boy. It turned out that what she expected was also what she hoped. Oh, she had made the journey prepared for other outcomes, but in her heart Iris prayed that her one-time husband would give her her heart's desire.
The GPS system announced the exit for the church. In less than five minutes, Iris would arrive at the single most important place and time of her life. One by one she took her hands from the steering wheel and wiped them on her pants. She thought about all that was at stake and it straightened her spine.
Iris pulled into the parking lot of the church. The artist in her wished that she could take some time just to stare at the beautiful lines and stained glass of the sanctuary. But the clock was ticking and she needed to get to the skinny white boy before his wedding began.
She glanced around and spotted someone smoking around the corner of the building. He was long and tall, and though he wore an elegant suit, he capped the outfit off with a black cowboy hat. "Excuse me." Iris walked up behind him. Up close, he was even even skinnier than her ex-husband. What the hell was with all these skinny white boys? That frizzy haired woman from the late-night commercials should have been collecting lunch money for all these skinny white boys. 'Fifteen cents a day will buy...' The absurd thought made Iris grin. When the skinny stranger cleared his throat, Iris glanced up to see a curious look on his face. She just shrugged it off. She ain't had time to explain what was so funny to her. "I'm looking for the groom."
The stranger took off his hat and nodded. It was a move that Iris had seen in every western movie she'd ever watched. "You're looking for the groom?"
Iris sighed. "I am looking for the groom. Darryl Pine." She deliberately called his name. Iris could see that the narrow ass muhfucka in front of her had dismissed the possibility that she might really have some business with her skinny ex-husband.
The stranger's eyes widened. "I'm his best man, Michael Lofton. Darryl's pretty busy right now. I'm sure you can understand that."
"I understand that I need to speak to him and you wasting my time."
"Maybe if you told me what you needed with him I could pass it on." The best man's message was clear. The only way Iris would get to his friend was through him.
Iris stared at him for a beat. "Okay," she nodded. She moved closer until she stood right before him. "Take yo stick man looking ass and go tell him his baby mama here to see him." Iris grabbed the stupid little string tie he wore and jerked him forward until they were nose to nose. "Now."
